Second Chances
by Emme019
Summary: Sequel to 'Never Leave Me Behind'. Johanna, now a District 4 citizen, has to adapt to life after the war. Old friends, new faces, and a lot of ups and downs will define this story.
1. Note

Hello everyone,

Before you move on to the first chapter, read this message first.

This story is a sequel to my other story 'Never leave me behind'. For those of you who have already read that story but don't really remember what it was about, and for those of you who haven't read it, here's a quick summary:

In (my version of) Mockingjay, Johanna did pass the test to go on that mission to the Capitol. Because of her presence, some things went a little differently. Whereas everyone was acting hostile towards Peeta, Johanna didn't, feeling like it was her duty to stand by his side because of what they both went through in captivity. As the squad was about to go down in the tunnels, Peeta and Johanna got seperated and took a different tunnel. They caught up with Finnick but couldn't find the rest of the group. Eventually, the mutts came. There was a fight, and all three of them escaped the tunnels but Johanna got bitten by one of the mutts. Venom spread through her body which caused temporary paralysis at times, but most importantly the venom got to her brain, making her go wild. They found a way into Snow's mansion and Johanna killed twelve innocent and unarmed servants. There was a trial after Snow's fall, and Johanna had to choose one district to spend the rest of her life in exile. She chose District 4, not wanting to leave her best friend.

So that's about everything you need to know for this story. I hope you'll enjoy it.

- Emme

Sidenote: This is going to be a 'lazy story', by which I mean I won't update once every week but rather once every month. I think that's best for a story like this.


	2. Chapter 1

When I open my eyes, the first thing I notice is the way the bed feels. Too soft. It's been at least a year since I've slept in a bed this soft. And the light-colored walls are too bright, especially with the sun shining through the open window.

As I turn around to lie on my back, I also notice the odd feeling in my stomach. Something is not right and I haven't figured out what yet. Yes, I'm sleeping in a different room, in a new house in District…4.

District 4! I leap out of my bed and run for the toilet with my hand covering my mouth. I figured it out. The sound was wrong. The familiar sound of wind whistling through the leaves is definitely _not_ the same as the sound of waves crashing against the rocks covering the beach in front of my house. Why did Annie choose this house for me? I don't really plan on vomiting every morning just because I can't stand the sound of water. Annie knows there are too many memories linked to it so why?

I brush my teeth and, mad as I am, march to Finnick and Annie's home which is – very conveniently – right next to mine. I don't bother putting on shoes or even putting on some decent clothes. Luckily, there's no one roaming the streets to comment on the large shirt I use as pajamas. And it's not like I have that many clothes to wear, and since the sun shines every day in District 4 I might as well live my life naked.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I yell as I barge into their kitchen where the two of them are just about to start their breakfast.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," Finnick comments, putting a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

"It would have been a good morning if I didn't just –"

Finnick holds up his hand to silence me. "Stop right there. I know you are about to say something nasty and I'm eating my breakfast. So don't. Oh, you want some?"

Finnick stands up and puts an extra plate on the table, not bothering to wait for my answer.

"No, I don't want some. What I do want is –"

"You still haven't said good morning. You do realize that, right?" He pauses for a second, his eyebrows raised. "We found you a house next to ours in case you need anything, and we just offered you breakfast. The least you could do is be a little nicer."

"I would be nicer if I didn't live in freaking Atlantis!"

"What?" Finnick asks, eyebrows in a confused knot.

I point to the window. "Water?"

Annie covers her mouth with her hand in realization. "I'm so sorry, Johanna! I never thought about that."

"Pretty weird that you didn't think about that since you were right there," I mutter, not really wanting to be rude to Annie but still…

"Okay, just calm down, have a little breakfast with us and then we'll work on that," Finnick says, his hands in the air as to break up a fight. "Besides, you should learn to get used to the sea. After all, you were the one who chose to live here. No one forced you to."

"I want to get used to it but it'll take time! You can't expect me to be a morning sea goddess on my first day! And I don't want breakfast," I say in disgust, watching the abundance of food on the table while trying to keep my insides down my throat. "I'm already nauseous as it is, thank you very much."

And without a single glance I turn around and leave. I don't know where I'm headed since I don't really feel like going back home where I'm just reminded of my loneliness, and I don't want to go anywhere near the stupid ocean. I want trees, lots of trees.

"Hey," I stop a man in his tracks and ignore the look he throws me for my attire, "is there a forest somewhere around?"

"Excuse me?" he says, clearly confused by my question.

"A forest? Trees? Ugh, never mind," I eventually say when the man keeps the confused look on his face.

"If you're looking for woods then you're in the wrong district," I hear a voice say behind me.

I turn around to see Finnick's big, blond friend Tyree hopping off a truck that smells like fish.

"Thanks for making my day just a tad bit brighter with that information. I really needed that," I reply sarcastically.

He starts to unload the truck, putting large bags of fish next to it. "Just take a train to a district with woods, I hear you can do that now," he says, the effort of talking and lifting heavy bags at the same time making him pant a little.

I wave his offer away. "No, I can't leave district 4."

"Right," he nods, "you're banished from the rest of Panem."

"Banished," I mutter.

"Well, it's the truth. No use trying to make it look better than it is."

And even though this day might be the most awful 'first day' anywhere ever, what Tyree just said resembles me so much it brings a smile to my face.

"Now look at you," Tyree laughs, "if you were wearing something other than that you could've looked like a princess with that smile."

"Is that your idea of flirting?"

His smile falters a little but doesn't disappear completely when he answers. "I don't do flirting. Not anymore."

I fully realize I shouldn't push it but I'm in my pajamas looking for a forest that doesn't exist in this overly bright hellhole and I'm alone so I ask him anyway.

"What happened, Prince Charming, got dumped right before the ball?"

He drops one of the bags in front of a garage before he looks at me.

"No, I just grew out of it, I guess."

I smirk. "No one grows out of flirting. The flirting may change but it doesn't disappear."

"Maybe not for you but I don't see the point in it."

"So you _did_ get dumped before the ball? She must've been a true princess, if you're still pining after-"

"Didn't you have a tree to climb?" he suddenly interrupts me.

I manage to keep the shock from my face, nod instead and try to walk away without turning back to hit him. I was just teasing him, nothing big! Choosing district 4 might just have been the worst decision of my life, and coming from me that can count for something.


	3. Chapter 2

"Do you want another salty, Johanna?" Annie asks me even though I haven't finished the first salty, which is short for 'salted bread', District 4's breakfast obsession.

"No, thanks. I'm still good," I reply, smiling at Finnick from across the table.

I've been in District 4 for almost a month now, and have already fallen into a comfortable daily pattern that starts with a thirty-minute run, followed by breakfast at the Odairs and then attempting to fill the rest of the day. And once a week I do some household chores for Annie's mother.

"What are you grinning at?" I ask Finnick after he's been staring at me and Annie for over five minutes with a ridiculous, cheeky smile on his face.

He nods at Annie. "Tell her."

"No, you can tell her, you're her best friend," Annie replies. I can hear a smile in her voice too but she can't match Finnick's enthusiasm.

"Tell me what?" I ask when neither of them is telling me whatever it is they want to tell me.

"Okay," Finnick eventually says. "Guess who's going to be a dad?"

I gulp the piece of bread I had in my mouth down and raise my eyebrows. "What?" I yell, looking at Annie, then at Finnick and then back at Annie. "You're pregnant?"

Annie nods, a soft smile around her lips and a twinkle in her eyes.

I jump up in excitement. "Congratulations!" I shout, hugging Annie first and then making my way over to Finnick who's already waiting for me with open arms.

"That's so awesome!" I beam at them, sharing their happiness.

"We would like you to be the godmother," Annie says, her voice suddenly cautious. "If you want to, of course."

My mouth falls open for the second time this morning. "Well, duh! Of course I'll be the kid's godmother!"

Finnick throws his arms around me and pulls me in for another bear hug. "Go upstairs to our room," he says once he's calm again. "There's a little godmother present waiting for you."

"A godmother present?" I ask, a skeptical grin on my face.

"Well, it was actually just a welcome-to-District-4 present but since you now agreed to be a godmother…" Finnick trails off with a waving gesture of his hand. "Just go get it."

I smile. "Okay."

When I enter their room I'm taken aback by how clean everything looks. The room just screams 'Annie and Finnick', which is the total opposite of my own bedroom that has my name written all over it, especially over the various piles of clothes casually thrown on the floor.

On their bed is a blue box with a big white ribbon around it, and when I open it I don't immediately know what it is. Even after I've taken the pieces of cloth out, I still have no idea. It feels weird, a bit slippery but still dry..

"Err, what is this?" I say when I get back downstairs, holding the tiny pieces of fabric in my left hand, high enough for Finnick to see.

"It's a bikini," he says, trying not to laugh at the expression on my face.

"A bikini?"

"Yes. You wear it when you go swimming."

I furrow my brow. "Seriously? It's like underwear, only the fabric is different, and the shape..."

"It's underwear to swim," he says, now looking confused. "Do you seriously not know what it is?"

"Well, obviously," I say, throwing the bikini in his face. "And by the way, is it supposed to show off that much skin?"

Now Finnick actually bursts into laughter. "Didn't think you'd have a problem with that."

"Well, I don't," I say, crossing my arms over my chest, "but I just don't understand why people can't wear regular clothes in that kind of fabric to go swimming, like in the Capitol. Or nothing at all."

"Regular clothes are way too hot for a day at the beach, and they don't dry as quickly as this. But feel free to try out the 'nothing at all'. I think you'll have a lot of spectators out there."

I take the black bikini back from Finnick and then shrug. "Well, I have to go. Your mother asked if I could come over today."

Annie looks up from her plate. "I thought you already went there this week?"

"Yes, but she asked me and it's not like I have much else to do so…" I reply. "I wouldn't worry, Annie. I'm sure it's nothing, just laundry or something like that," I try to reassure her when I see her eyebrows go up in concern.

"Okay then," she eventually says, taking Finnick's hand in hers.

"Thanks for eh, this," I say, giving both Finnick and Annie a kiss goodbye.

"You're welcome. Say hi from us!"

"Will do."

As I walk out the door, I don't really know what to do with the bikini since I don't have any pockets. But thankfully, mother Maybelle's house is not that far away.

"Good morning," I say when I open the front door.

"Good morning, Johanna," I hear Annie's mom reply, a laugh in her voice.

I put the bikini on the table and walk towards mother Maybelle, who's sitting in her favorite rocking chair, even though she's not that old yet. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she says. "Did they tell you?"

I smile. "Yes, they did."

"And?"

"And I'm going to be the godmother!"

That same twinkle that was in Annie's eyes just thirty minutes ago appeared now in her mother's eyes. "I'm so happy. I knew you'd say yes."

"Of course."

She's quiet for a moment before she asks me to make her a cup of tea. "And make one for yourself as well."

I do as I bid, and I'm happy to do it. Life has taken quite a toll on mother Maybelle, having lost one of her children at sea, trying to make a living for her other children when her husband died, Annie being reaped as a tribute and then having to take care of a hysterical person for years. And on top of all that, when Annie was held captive in the Capitol, mother Maybelle tried to talk to District 4 officials to get her daughter back but was severely beaten by peacekeepers until she could barely move. Seeing her smiling, hearing her say she's happy, that's why I love coming here.

I take both cups and put them on the coffee table.

"How are you doing?" she suddenly asks, just a slight edge in her voice that I can't really put my finger on.

"I'm good, why?"

"Just asking. What have you been doing?"

I let out a small laugh. "You mean between the day before yesterday and today? Nothing. I watched TV, ate ice cream and that's probably it."

Mother Maybelle nods, still that sweet smile on her face. "Why don't you try something new? You could go to the beach more, try to get over your fear of water."

I sigh and look at the steaming cup in my hand. "I know. It's just… I don't really feel like I can do that."

"What do you mean?" she asks in a soft voice.

"I don't know. I feel stuck. Everyone is moving on, and I'm just stuck. Finnick and Annie are having a baby, they're both in a really good place, and I'm still in the same place I was when I left the Capitol. I'm still afraid of water, and I can't do anything about it."

I look up and it's then that I realize mother Maybelle knew this all along. That's why she wanted me to come over, to have a talk.

"Why can't you do anything about it?" she says, sipping from her tea. "I heard Finnick and Annie gave you a bikini."

I roll my eyes at her comment. "Right, the bikini. I fear it's going to take more than that."

Suddenly, she takes my hand in hers. "Don't be afraid, Johanna. You just got your life back, enjoy it."

"Okay." I smile. "I'll try."


	4. Chapter 3

As I hear the waves crash onto the beach I try to focus on my toes, which are slowly disappearing into the sand. Once my toes are invisible, I dig my fingers into the sand as well. It's my way of 'getting used to the sea', as Finnick would say. I really want to try, because _I_ made the choice to be here. _I_ made the choice to never leave this place. _I_ made the choice to not abandon my best friend and now _I_'ll have to get used to it. And slowly I am getting used to it. Yesterday it was impossible to stay in this spot for longer than five minutes, but now I can manage. _The water is at least ten meters away_, I keep telling myself as a way of comfort.

"Haven't seen you in a while," an oddly familiar voice says.

"Missed me?" I smile weakly up at Tyree, who is casting a shadow over my face. "You're in my sun."

He smirks. "Didn't take you for the tanning type."

"Yeah, well, I'm bored." I shrug.

"Then maybe you should get off your ass and do something, instead of just sitting here, doing nothing," he suggests while motioning for me to scoot over.

"Says the man who's sitting on his ass as well now, doing nothing."

"Haven't slept last night so excuse me if I'm a bit tired," he yawns.

Laughter escapes my mouth. "Oh how cliché, yawning while saying you're tired."

"Whatever you say, Sunshine."

He closes his eyes and leans back against the big rock we're sitting against. When he opens his eyes again, I'm reminded of the fact that I've been staring at his face way too long.

"What?" he says, not able to keep a grin of his face.

"Nothing," I say quickly. "Why were you up all night?"

He closes his eyes again. "Work. Takes up a lot of your time."

I push my eyebrows together in confusion. "I thought you were a fisherman?"

"I am. It's not just catching fish, though. I can't just sell them like that. I mean, you can but I prefer to clean them before I sell them."

"Oh."

We sit together in silence for a long time and as much as I want to go back home, I don't. My pride is keeping me from getting up. I am not going to admit that I'm still afraid of water, even after having lived in district 4 for at least a month and a half, and especially not to a man who looks like he's afraid of nothing and nobody. And the big scar across his chest is telling me just that.

"You know," he suddenly says, causing me to jump since I thought he had fallen asleep, "I could always use some help on the boat. And since you're so bored, that shouldn't be a problem, right?"

He opens only one eye to gauge my reaction, which is disappointing for him actually. I'm at a loss for words, partly because no one has ever asked for my help before and partly because it's working on a boat. A boat, that sails the seas. Water. No way.

I clear my throat before answering. "No thank you, I'll find something else to keep me busy."

He exhales slowly. "What? You don't want to work with me? Am I less because I'm not a tribute or one of you fancy Victors?"

"This has nothing to do with you," I sigh. "Besides, you really do have something against the Victors, don't you?"

I turn my gaze away from the sea to look at him.

"It was a joke, actually. And I don't have anything against the Victors, I have something against what turned you into this."

"This," I repeat.

"Yes, this." He pauses for a second, doesn't look at me. "Odair is one of my oldest friends. We weren't always close but we knew each other. When he came back, when he won his Games, he wasn't the same anymore."

I turn my head back towards the ocean. "None of us are."

"That's what I mean with 'this'. You lost yourself by winning."

"No," I interrupt him fiercely. "We may have changed but we didn't lose ourselves. Who we, Victors, are now may be not who we thought we'd be, but we are still ourselves. Just with another experience of life."

He doesn't say he agrees with me but he doesn't disagree either. In fact, silence is all I get, which is quite frustrating. But what is there to say to that? Nothing really. It's just how it is.

"To get back to the original subject," Tyree eventually says, "the offer still stands."

"Offer?"

"You know," he gestures towards the ocean, "helping me out at sea a bit."

"Oh, that offer." I lower my eyes, trying to fixate on my toes that are now visible again. "I can't."

"You can't, or you won't?"

"Can't."

"Can't," he repeats in a soft voice, which is surprisingly different from his usual deep, manly voice.

"This is the closest I can get to the water without freaking out," I admit. "And if it weren't for you, I'd probably have left a long time ago. I can't do it."

"If it weren't for me," he quotes, again with that devilish grin Finnick also has at times.

"Don't flatter yourself, big boy," I smile.

"But you did just say –"

"Doesn't matter what I said. I can't go on a boat and that's it."

Suddenly, Tyree gets up and brushes the sand off his legs and hands. "Well, if you do decide it's time to get over that ridiculous fear, let me know."

And with that, he turns around and disappears, leaving me all the more confused about whether he is right or not. Maybe my fear is ridiculous, maybe I'm the one making it worse than it really is.

In an impulse, I jump up and follow Tyree.

"Fine!" I shout once I get him in sight again. "Fine, I'm in! But you'll have to help me, because I will lose it at one point. Probably at more than one point. I will lose it a lot."

"Deal," he shouts back, throwing me a thumbs-up.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?


	5. Chapter 4

"What is this I hear about you going to work on a boat?" a voice says when I open the front door of my house.

I drop my keys and almost punch the intruder before I realize it's only Finnick.

"Fuck," I breathe, "Why would you sneak up on me like that? You know you shouldn't do that, _dumbass_!"

I take a few deep breaths to steady my heart rate and then pick up my keys.

"I didn't sneak up on you," Finnick says, grinning slightly as he flicks on the light switch. "You just weren't expecting me."

"Of course I wasn't expecting you!" I yell, my panic making room for anger. "Why aren't you at home when Annie? It's almost nine o'clock!"

"Nine o'clock indeed, which leads me to this question: Where were you all day?"

I nod towards the bags in my hand. "I went to the grocery store. A girl needs food in her house, even when that girl is me. And then I took a walk."

Finally completely calm, I walk to the kitchen to put everything away and get me and Finnick a drink.

Finnick follows me and leans against the kitchen doorframe. "So," he begins, "a boat?"

I roll my eyes as I hand him a glass of soda.

"With Tyree," he says when I don't reply. "Anything I should know?"

"There's nothing to know," I say.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Why are you asking? Do you have a theory?"

"No, I don't have a theory," Finnick says, shrugging. "I just think it's odd that you chose to get over your fear by working with Tyree."

I can feel a smile spread across my face. "Are we a bit jealous?"

Finnick smirks. "Oh please, Finnick Odair doesn't get jealous."

He flexes the muscles in his arms and chest to add force to his statement but receives a mocking eye-roll from me in return.

"You do realize Tyree's muscles are probably five times bigger than yours are?"

"So you have checked out his muscles?"

Finnick looks like a five-year-old who has just found a secret candy box.

"Bit hard not to," I say matter-of-factly. "No, serious now, you told me I needed to make friends here in District 4, and that's what I'm doing. I don't really want anything more. And I agreed to Tyree's proposal on a whim, actually. But that's not a bad thing, maybe this is what I need. I tried the baby steps, they didn't work."

"Of course they didn't work, you're Johanna, you don't do things halfway. You jump in, head first."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Finn, but why are you really here?"

"I wanted to know-"

"Yeah right, as if. Seriously, why are you here?"

He sighs while rubbing a hand over his face. "I'm tired. The Capitol still haunts me at night, and I can't talk to Annie about it because I don't want to upset her. And I miss you."

"I'm right here."

Finnick throws me one of his sweetest smiles, the kind he usually reserved for Mags, and Annie. "I know. I mean I miss us, our Capitol friendship. As much as I hated that place, we had some good times."

I know what he means. I only felt at home in the Capitol because of Finnick, and we did have some great times.

"I miss us too," I admit in a soft voice. I thought it would be selfish of me to reclaim my best friend now that he and his wife are finally reunited and they're having a baby, but now that he basically told me he needs a break from his peachy life, I suddenly don't feel so bad about secretly wanting our Capitol times back anymore.

"We need to fix us," he says.

"We do," I nod.

"Okay, here's the plan," Finnick says, an enthusiastic expression on his face, "You and me will go on a date once a week."

I raise my eyebrows. "On a date? Somehow I have the feeling your _wife_ won't be okay with that."

"On a _friendship_ date, Johanna," Finnick says, sighing and rolling his eyes as if it's the most simple thing in the world.

"Oh excuse me, _friend_. Then okay, I like the plan. When do we start?"

"Next week?"

"Deal."

I put out my hand to shake on it and before we say goodbye, Finnick raises his hand as if he's only now remembering something.

"Oh, that's right, someone called earlier!"

"Who?"

"I don't know, I heard the phone ring when I got in but was too late to pick up."

I look at the phone hanging on the wall and then shrug. "If it's urgent, they'll call me back. Now go, before you're grounded for staying out too long."

* * *

I open the door of the bar Tyree told me to meet him at. It's a bit damp inside, smelling of fish, and my eyes start to water because of the smoke inside. A few older and tough-looking men glance at me when I come in, but then continue their conversation. I spot Tyree at the bar, ordering a beer for himself.

"You?" he asks me.

"Eh, I don't really like beer. Scotch please."

"And one scotch," he tells the bartender.

"So, why did you want to meet me?" I ask once we both have our drinks.

"Well, now that you're officially ready to get over your fears and are starting to fit in," Tyree says, raising his beer, "I think we should make a toast."

I chuckle half-heartedly. "Oh yeah?"

"To new beginnings," he says, clinking his glass with mine.

"I don't think it's that simple," I say in a whispery voice.

Tyree takes a large gulp from his beer before he says, "Nothing ever is, Johanna. But instead of worrying about everything, just try."

I raise my eyebrow. "Just try?"

"Yeah, there's more to life than just waiting for the next fight."

"Says the big guy who's had more fights than a peacekeeper, and has a giant scar to prove it," I snigger. "You should just try to take your own advice sometimes."

Tyree turns his head and looks at me smilingly before downing his beer and getting up from his chair. "Spit fire all you want, Johanna Mason. It takes more than you to burn me," he says, still wearing that cocky grin that somehow looks familiar.

"Who says I'm trying to burn you?" I say with a smile, shaking off the uneasy feeling that his grin gave me.

"Oh you just seem like a kind of girl who always plays with fire," he replies, swinging an arm over my shoulder.

"Okay mister Poet, I think I got the message. And what the hell are you doing?" I add, pushing his arm off my shoulders. "And stop smiling, it's getting creepy."

"Dance with me?" he suddenly asks.

I look at his still grinning face for a moment, deciding if his friendship is worth my trouble or not. "I don't dance," I eventually say.

"You should dance with me, I've got some kick-ass moves."

I burst out in laughter. "I don't think you even realize how arrogant you can be. But what the hell, just try, right?"

"Just try."


End file.
